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 “Plank thick, hull stupid and out of time.”I was daydreaming when Thomas Rice quoted Seamus Heaney’s poem, The Settle Bed, so I thought he was referring to me personally. My classmates, who it turns out were not daydreaming at the time, also assumed he was referring to me.
But Thomas was just making his point that we have the capacity to see every problem and every opportunity in a new way and from a new perspective, and therein find solutions, agreements, and community.
“Whatever is given can be re-imagined
No matter how plank-thick, hull stupid
And out of its time
It happens to be.”
The15-Day ICL program was a life-changing event for me simply because it gave me the ability to name many of the parts of my relationships, leadership approaches, and success. The ability to name the parts, to see how they fit together, to understand the elements of work teams, decision processes, and leadership models gave me the ability to re-imagine myself. Coming into the class, you see, I had a vague feeling that I was a smart enough, mostly likeable, an honest and hardworking guy but without the burden of thought or personal opinion in my head or the duty to defend one. I saw myself as one who could negotiate a fair treatyÖbut not necessarily called on to bring peace. Work provided me with a broad sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in jobs usually well done. But I was also left
with a rather uneasy sense that I was somehow missing in depth of values and commitment in my work. I was there but my soul didn’t care. I am not sure what, exactly, transpired at the ICL training to bring about this re-imagining of the value that I might bring to a particular challenge, problem, or relationship. However it happened, I did come to understand if the re-imagining could waken my plank-thick, hull stupid, and out of time soul just think what it could do for all the competent, high minded, and dedicated folks that I work with, and for, and through.
This business of collaborative leadership does have the capacity to waken the souls of the folks who come to work in our organizations. It motivates, inspires, and enlivens people. It can engage and make partners of our citizens, customers or constituentsÖand can help us achieve more meaningful success --- defined through results, relationship, and process.
For me, there were 3 lessons of particular value that I learned during my ICL program These lessons are merely this:
You really matter.
I really matter.
We really matter.
I will return to these 3 lessons in a minute, but I have to stop first for two confessions:
First, I’m not certain that receiving an individual award for collaboration isn’t a bit of any oxymoronÖbut I am sure that there are many people to whom I think this recognition truly belongs. Of course time does not permit me to name them all, but, I hope each one knows how much I appreciate this recognition, your friendship, and the opportunity to be of service. You make all that possible thank you.
I am most grateful to the Yarmouth Town Council who gives the trust, support and freedom to serve, to all my staff and particularly my department heads who give me the friendship, encouragement and capacity to succeed. I am inspired by in indebted to many friends and peers in Cumberland County including my fellow town managers. You won’t find a more generous and public spirited group of people anywhere. I want to thank my partners at PROP, at Cumberland County government, at GPCOG and all the folks working at PACTS. I understand that I owe a special thanks to my old ZETA classmate, John Duncan, who nominated me for this recognition. Thanks John. I do hope you are right!
Also, I want to recognize a terrific professional colleague, Ken Murphy, Superintendent of the Yarmouth School Department with whom I’m frequently either collaborating or conspiring. I offer my deep gratitude to you, Ellen, and all the wonderful people I have come to know through my ICL connections. I am so proud to be a part of the Institute that it makes this recognition especially meaningful to me.
Finally, my work is only possible with the support, understanding and encouragement of my family. My wife, Judy, and my sons, Jordan, Sam, and Brian, have accepted a lifestyle and work schedule that robs them of vacations, evenings, privacy and on occasion a bit of their dignity. If there have ever been collaborators it is them.
The second confession is this- I don’t always put into practice these lessons I have learned. I only practice them when I’m thoughtful about my work, when I’m attentive to the things I have been taught through the Institute for Civic Leadership, and by my parents and my family, my church, my friends, and my many, many mistakes. I wish I really did practice what I preach more. On the other hand, my kids and my staff would be just as pleased if I would simply preach less.
You matter, I matter, We matter.Customer, employee, and profits. Process, Relationship, Results, Prayer, Meditation, and Service. Voter, citizen, community. Duty, Honor, Country all contain the same lessons. The lessons of ICL are neither unique nor new; but that’s pretty much the nature of Truth isn't? its universal and it’s timeless.
LESSON 1: You really matter.
I’m going to tell you a short Little League story and if you will just try to enjoy hearing it even half as much as I like telling it, we’ll get through this together just fine. When my son, Sam, was 8 years old he was quite bummed out at his Little League practice because Mr. O'Connell never gave him a chance to try out to pitch. I explained to Sam, that when Mr. O'Connell is talking to the team, that Sam was down in the dirt drawing pictures and seemingly disinterested in all that was being discussed. He was not paying attention to the coach at all. "So", I suggested, "how about at the next practice, we’ll get you there early and you can talk to the coach." I advised him to find a time when no one was around, to ask Mr. O'Connell how his day was, and then to ask
him, very politely if he would allow Sam to take a few pitches off the mound after practice so the coach could show him how to improve. We even practiced. "Most importantly", I said, make good eye contact and look right into the coach’s eyes when you talk to him." How could he say no? No one could. It worked out great, and Sam is now pitching Division 2 collegiate ball. It worked so well, in fact, that for a few days Sam was creeping out the neighbors with his new eye-contact strategy. "Hi Dr. Jones, How are you today?" Sadly, Kevin O’Connell passed away quite unexpectedly a little over a year agoÖ.but he had bragged to me more than once that he was the coach who “discovered” the pitcher in Sam Tupper. I wonder if he ever understood that it was Sam Tupper who discovered the person in Coach O’Connell. I encourage you to discover the persons in your collaborative efforts to find
out what potentials are waiting to be released. When people trust not only that their views and contributions will be honored, but also that they are highly valued and sought after, they will respond with generous gifts of thought, labor, and loyalty. When people see that their role is critical, they will commit their whole selves to the effort. Witness the work of our volunteer firefighters and EMTs; look at the passion and sincerity brought to the table by the members of our Planning Boards, school committees, and advisory groups. Quite frankly, these people are absolutely critical to the success of local community and when they know it, they respond, and when they don’t know it, things begin to deteriorate. Pay attention to and give voice to the importance of the parts they play. Name the parts by name. They need to see, and hear, and feel the message : "You really matter."
Lesson 2: I really matter.
It is clear that we are not very adept or comfortable with expressing ourselves especially in matters of the heart. Think about how many millions of dollars we spend each year to have Hallmark do it for us. For a collaborative decision process to work, we have to seek full participation not just assent or acceptance of forced choice alternatives. We need people to write their own greeting cards to the effort, not choose between the Snoopy and the Garfield cards. We should encourage people to express their views in their own words, and challenge them to speak or write about what is important and why. We are seldom pressed to find words to articulate uncertain and jumbled feelings. We resort to either/or, true/false, multiple choice, and yes/no options. Marketers and pollsters gain much valuable information
from us as customers, voters and citizens when they observe our behaviors and study us in forced choice situations. I’m pretty sure that the scanners at Hannaford’s know much better than I which is my favorite ice cream flavor. Those scanners can not know why I buy so much mint chocolate chip, or who I most want to share it with. They will never know that my toes wiggle involuntarily if she hands me a dishful when I’m relaxing on the couch. I find it difficult to give a name to that feeling, or to explain why I respond with such contentment. I wish that I could, or dared, express in words how that act both nourishes my soul and settles me fully into "my place" on earth. You see, a central key to any collaborative decision process is to empower and motivate the human’s being. The lesson I learned in the ICL training was that expression of ideas
and thoughts in one’s own original, awkward and searching words is an indispensable part of moving to active engagement. To do so, we can seek to have every stakeholder “settled in” the solutions and decisions rather than “settling for” a resolution. To be settled into the proper place, a person needs to know “who I am and to do that he or he needs to give expression to his own thoughts and feelings. We can borrow the tools from another (such as Seamus Heaney) but we have to do your own digging.
Lesson 3: We really matter.
The group matters. I matter and you matter most in the context of relationship to each other. For those who have been part of the ICL program, you know about the bonding and importance of connection we held with each other. Recent high school graduates celebrate their individual accomplishments, but suffer a pervasive nostalgia and yearning to be back with their friends before the first day of summer has passed. We may never be complete but in one another we are hopeful that we can be completed. And when people think they are excluded from a group when they don’t believe they can be part of something larger them themselves their pain can be palpable, dangerous, and destructive. You don’t have to look to Columbine or anywhere distant for evidence of this. Look at the faces of the
less productive people in the next meeting you are at---(not now!). The contributing people are the ones who feel connected.
Your collaborative partners come into the process only in the context of the "we". The person is part of the collaboration because he/she is needed and feels that his contribution matters. The collaborative outcomes are successful and sustained because the person grows and can name the values and parts of herself that are nourished and settled in the process. We matter in relationship to one anotherÖin our “we-ness”. And that is why the collaborative process works.
Again I thank the Institute and all of you for this very special recognition. "We" are greatly honored.
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